Sunday 3 August

I’ve kicked my cat off MY chair and am sitting in my courtyard on this unusually warm winter Sunday afternoon.  I’ve got my newish MacBook fully charged and my feet are chocked up on two overturned recycle bins, I’m ready to write this long and overdue update for Accidental aid worker blog.

Last you heard on this blog – I was gung-ho into the writing.

I tell you – it hasn’t happened. I’m sorry.

Things (life) got in the way. You know, the need to seek work, actually conduct work, earn money etc. Please don’t see this as a form of procrastination or elaborate excuse making.  It’s just that those overwhelming needs – to pay one’s mortgage and strata fees, keep the cat tin topped up with biscuits, eat and so on, have overridden the crippling stress of publicly declared self imposed deadlines.

Since returning from the reunion trip to Sri Lanka in July last year (see photos in the gallery), I came home with all sorts of grand ideas of further projects to help my friend Bruno IN Sri Lanka. All GREAT ideas  – but the problem was in part, that I don’t have the capacity to deliver any of those, at present, on my own (will detail more in the book).

It took me a while to come to terms with that.  At the same time I was busy running community building events at Our Big Kitchen and running my Christmas campaign for Candles for Community and trying to reestablish myself with work.

I spent the first month of 2014 with no voice due to flu – and I slowly regained my health in time to start working again as a consultant – which required all of my energy and focus.

At the end of June – I travelled back to Cambodia to spend time with my beloved Geraldine Cox and Sunrise Kids – and it’s here that I more or less renewed my vows to writing my memoir.

Actually, it was just before leaving on this trip that I started to feel really BAD about not having made any progress on this book. Ashamed, guilty…… embarrassed!

If I don’t prioritise and make some sacrifices along the way, I will not be ready to either pitch to a publisher or publish under my own steam.

Deal DONE (with self).

THE DEAL

The deal I have struck with myself, is to have a first draft ready by some time in October. In order to achieve this I have:

• justified the purchase of a swanky new MacBook Air, as a necessary tool for travel and writing;
• started to speak more widely to everybody – including people in the publishing world;
• scaled back significantly on my professional work – to allow time to focus on not only the process of writing my story, but also all the other elements that go into self publishing;
• scheduled in writing days;
• planned two 4 day writing retreats – away from the distractions of my home and wifi;
• made a promise to Geraldine that I will have a first draft for her to review, so that she can write my foreword.

Since I returned home from Cambodia in mid-July with this renewed focus – I have to say I’ve been preparing, and preparing and busy. I had birthday celebrations, tradesmen to manage and paint fumes inside, outside and throughout home, client work to do… all very legitimate and huge things that = valid excuses and distractions.

I did do some writing in Cambodia – here is where I set up my  new MacBook – over looking the fields at Geraldine’s house at Sunrise. It didn’t last long as a writing sanctuary – because of the 160 or so kids popping in and out of my zone and the need to trouble shoot for Geraldine.

Distractions – but worthy ones.

I’m not really dodging the writing, I just simply haven’t had the space in my mind, and the fatigue with working around all of these big tasks – means that I only achieved my writing schedule 1 week out of the last 3.

AND SO – I have now achieved the work scale back – which quite honestly will make things tight money wise and I’ll be spending the next few months very skinny on the social and spending side of things.

I have also just booked an economical cabin at a caravan park in Ettalong for a few days at the end of August for writing retreat #1.

So wish me luck everyone as I hunker down and give it a SERIOUS go these next few months.

Sue x